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The Ministry of Fellowship Thrives on Mutuality
Romans 12

The Reverend Dr Richard W Smith, Hoffman Estates, IL, September 30, 2007

We said this last few weeks that the Ministry of Fellowship brings gifts with it; IDENTITY (‘The Beloved,” “The People of God”), GROWTH (in relationship to Self, Others, and God) and our TRUE HOME (a family of choice, hopefully the church), and the Gift of Authenticity where we are invited to choose our TRUE SELF and be released from being imprisoned to our FALSE SELF.

We have said these gifts all result from God the Father’s love for God the Son and that love is God the Spirit who hangs out in our congregation and flows between and in our fellowship.

These gifts are the results of the Gospel; because of Jesus Christ’s life, death, and resurrection, God has given gifts for ministry to the church!

This morning we end this series of the Ministry of Fellowship facing the need of MUTUALITY because the ministry of fellowship needs mutuality.  The word “mutuality” is an old word, we don’t use it much anymore, and it’s a way of expressing what all people need---SUPPORT.  When we make it our business to support each other as brothers and sisters in Christ, then we are practicing the Ministry of Fellowship by meeting each other’s need for mutuality.

Paul gives us some examples of MUTUALITY that happen in the young church.  In Romans 1:12 we are commanded to “be mutually (there’s that word “mutuality”) encouraged by each others faith.”  Putting it in today’s language Eugene Peterson says, “You have as much to give me as I have to give you.

I’m certain that the Widerman’s would agree that people who do ministry in Third World countries like Africa, or work with Hospice, or visit Hospitals often find themselves being ministered to by those they are serving.  There is reciprocity, a give and take, in ministry.  When God touches our hearts we see more deeply the mystery that fills our daily lives.

In order to give and receive God’s nurture, we do need to be a people who live out our faith, to live what we truly believe, what we trust.  The simple truth of our Christian faith is that there is a God and that God is like Jesus.  This faith believes that God is the creator and has made all that there is.  This faith believes that God is loves. This faith believes that God desires a friendship with us and with creation. Living out our faith is living a life by seeing reality through God’s lenses, Trinity Glasses.

In the second church I served there was a small group of 20 people who met for a few years every Wednesday night and had prayer and scripture sharing.  It was a group that knew about mutuality and actually trusted each other enough to be authentic with one another and share there faith, their doubts, their anger, their confusion, and sometimes their joy!

Paul writes later on in Romans 12 that you and I as members of the Body of Christ, the church, are “to love one another with mutual (there’s that word “mutuality” again) and we are to outdo one another in showing honor.”   We might express it like Eugene Peterson does and say, “Be good friends who love deeply.  Practice playing second fiddle.”

There are some long time friendships in this congregation, there are newer people who have joined over the years, and there are some brand new people just coming into the fellowship of this congregation who are seeking to be part of the friendship, the fellowship, of this congregation.  Sometimes these new members and attendees are a little shy and need you old time members to move towards them first. 

Sometimes churches have little groups that do not want new people joining in their circle.  I was the Interim pastor in one church a while ago and being rather shy I would go to coffee hour and try to break into some circles and feel the cold shoulder.  I spent a few Sundays after church standing in the corner---alone (my worst nightmare) and finally stopped attending coffee hours after church.  I often chatted by the front door with some folks and then just went on my way.  No one missed me!  We don’t want that to happen to anyone here! 

We are called to make good friends with all the members and friends of this congregation.  This friendship is where we love each other deeply.  The church is where the Ministry of Fellowship happens and people have a stake in each other’s lives (and I don’t mean Black Angus, either).

We are to “show honor” to each other.  I often kid sometimes and say when I’m teased, “I could go home and get this.”  It’s actually not true for me in my home.  Home is where I can go and my wife loves me even with all my weaknesses.  What a gift that is in my life!

The church is to be a home, a family, where you go and are known, affirmed, not insulted or put down, where you are challenged to grow into maturity, where you learn responsibility for others.  The church is where we are involved with one another, not anonymous people to one another.

I’ve been in some churches that really wanted to be affirming but just didn’t ever learn how to come out and say positive things to each other so they used very cutting humor that was actually more destructive than life giving.  We all need to have the courage to learn how to speak and share love in an honest way.

Peterson uses that little phrase, “practice playing second fiddle.”  My Uncle Irving is a wonderful man.  Everyone in my family circles around him when he shows up.  Uncle Irving is a listener, he’s very affirming and encouraging to all of us.  Yet, there is never a feeling that he wants to be first, that he wants attention, he has a quiet manner, and he sits in the second fiddle chair and from their he changes his family’s lives with his kindness.

Second Fiddle chair sitting also means when you are with someone who is telling you their story or an incident in their lives you do not think of a story from your life to “one up” them.  Second Fiddle chairs are people willing to listen and reflect what others are sharing.  For someone to tell you their story means they trust you and that is a powerful gift they give you---so listen.

Paul writes again to the Romans and says, “let us then pursue what makes for peace, and for mutual (there’s that word again) up building.”  Peterson expresses this thought this way, “getting along with each other, helping others with encouraging words.”

There are times when each one of us is hard to get along with; little sleep, pain in the body, anxiety about some decision or some other issue plagues us and causes us to be short tempered.  But this passage is not about this type of situation.  This passage is about people who just cannot seem to get along with their brothers and sisters in Christ and seem to make it their practice to be disruptive to the life of the congregation.

There are people in churches who are just plain bullies!  Most churches back away from these types of persons and that gives them more power to just keep coming on intimidating others.

Some folks are always angry or send out signals that, like a volcano, they might blow at any time.  Most church people just back away and these people tend to take control of committees, and have their own way.

One church I know quite well has one very tall and loud woman in her late 60’s who is infamous for yelling at the top of her lungs at people if things don’t turn out the way she wants them to.  She often uses the phone to call people and stir up the proverbial “hornets nest” trying to take control of people’s opinions and actions by putting her spin of what the session might have said or how she understands Aunt Matilda’s statement at a congregational meeting.  The scripture tells us to have a sense of mutuality towards one another and allowing this type of behavior isn’t “mutuality.”

Congregations are called into the new life of Christ and this type of behavior doesn’t seem to reflect that goal whatsoever.  Congregations have got to gather the courage to not allow destructive behavior to dominate and control decisions and actions in the church.

Lots of us were raised in families that were codependent and pretty short on encouragement and support and did not teach us how to communicate in a healthy way.  In the church we need to teach each other how to affirm one another; how to speak it, show it in our own life, and how to practice it together.

People are dying for a positive word to be said to them about their lives.  The critic in each one of us and the ones we meet outside us on a daily basis have a very loud voice, but the affirmation we need is rare and hard to come by.  So, here, together, we need to speak to each other in a way that affirms and builds one another up into being the new person in Christ God has invited us to be.

In Christ’s Body we are all connected; we serve the same Lord.  We are called to exhibit mutuality between each other.  To support each other means we need to put ourselves in the place where we can expand our friendships and relationships beyond our comfort zone.  We are called to trust God and to reach out in trust to each other, that’s risky as well as frightening.  We support each other by being affirming, honoring, supportive, and we share together.  That’s what Christ has done for each one of us, and that is what we are called to do for each other.

 

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